Definitely time to dump John.

One of the joys of living in a house built in 1974 is seeing how far buildings have come- and how much we lag behind.  Besides phone wiring that actually looks like the Uverse Monster and air conditioning that contributes more to global warming than to cooling the house, we have these: nasty toilets circa 1984, with semi-functioning handles and long runtimes after each 3.5 gallon flush.

Enter SSWD's toilet rebate program:  we'll pay you to replace your crappy crapper.  After the $175 rebate, the sale at homegoods.com, a bonus from my credit card, and no tax, the ultra-efficient toilets were $100 for two!  Seriously? Act quick! People around here have got to go!

I was surprised by how much research there is about toilets.  There are rating scales, flush tests for various "matter", 120-page technical comparisons, people whose life work is testing and blogging about the various toilets they encounter.  Oddly enough, my life's work has been to avoid thinking about toilets as much as possible.  I'd like to go back to that, now that I am done selecting the most impressive throne, waiting out two shipping issues, finding a non-scary person to install them, and testing them to my great satisfaction.

The old toilets were good for a few things:  we hauled them to the curb to be picked up by waste management just in time to horrify the uptight HOA board as they drove by.  We could hear them moaning and clucking about the state of the neighborhood for blocks.  Before that, we reimagined other possible uses:


Goodbye John.  Drake is quiet, conservative, clean, low maintenance, doesn't slam the toilet seat, and never has to be told twice.  Only Drake is the throne fit for the Casita queens!


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